Give it up

So..my bible study is Becoming a vessel God can use. This week through the bible study we have been reading and discerning the idea that we must give up past accomplishments, past fears and failures, and the future. I am not going to lie giving up my future to the Almighty is difficult for me. Which sounds funny because He is the Almighty. However in the study it discusses giving it up and not be disappointed when what you planned does not necassarily happen. Oh man I was convicted. There are a few things that I would like for my future. Whether or not God and I are on the same page well...time will tell. I genuinely believe that God has called me to teach children one day. someone today mentioned that maybe I will be called to teach my own children and home school. Although the thought of that sounds great I'm not sure how I feel about it. Trust me, I've thought about it, pondered it, prayed about it. But my desires are to teach in a classroom full of children lots of them, not just my own. If I am not alloted that opportunity I would be lying if I said I wasnt going to be disappointed. Most people in class talked about how giving up the past was much harder than giving up the future. I felt like I was the only one to disagree. For me, it already happened. It's done. If its a matter of forgiveness it was between me and God. It's not necassarily between me and someone else. (dont get me wrong sometimes we are called to confront those that we have to forgive or ask forgiveness from) but it is first and foremost between me and God. That is easier for me than the future. There are things I want, for my family, for our life. I am just praying that God will shine some light on this and guide me in the right direction.

This is probably much deeper than most of you came to read, but its on my mind, in my prayers and thoughts. It's hard. We work hard by the glory of God to accomplish the things we do. I am loving the bible study and the relationships that are being built in the class with new and old friends.

Sidenote: boys have not been biting in daycare at all. We have a nice long talk all the way to church about being nice and not biting and sharing with our friends. So far the long talk has worked last 3 weeks I have got a "they were perfect and so fun". Which is usually cuppled with the "how do you do this by yourself because they are the most active kids we have ever seen" I just laugh because in all honesty I just do it. Some days I'm better at it than others. :)

Happy Friday everyone!!!